The Psycho Pages

I am.....

2006-11-13T18:25:45Z

I am beautiful in my own way.

I am tall.

I am eccentric most of the time.

I am happy.

I am in love.

I am obessesive-compulsive.

Mostly about cleaning but a few other things too.

I am an internet junkie.

I am silly.

My boyfriend loves me even if he is a crack smoking bum and the fact that I am in love with Matressland in Waterbury.

Coolest name ever....MATRESSLAND!!!!

I eat all kinds of weird food combinations. That most people think are weird.

I am kind.

I am soulful.

I am religious to a point. But i am not a bible hugger at all(use to be but not anymore).

I am a sweetheart most of the time.

I am very friendly.

I sympathize with everyone.

I give advice.

I try to be nice even to people who I don't like or don't like me.

I drink ice water like crazy.

Wow lots o' random facts about me.

Laterz.

Weird.

2006-11-13T18:19:44Z

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.

Opening Credits:
Sing for Absolution - Muse

Waking Up:
Ne Blu Dipinto Di Blu - Dominico Modugno

First Day At School:
Make Yourself - Incubus

Falling In Love:
Falling Away with You - Muse

Breaking Up:
Red House - Jimi Hendrix

Prom:
Take It Off - The Donnas (hmm i didn't go to my prom but if i did i might have been doing that. *laughs*)

Life's OK:
What I Got - Sublime

Driving:
What Up Gansta - 50 Cent

Flashback:
We Can Dance If We Want To - Men Without Hats

Getting Back Together:
Calling Elvis - Dire Straits

Wedding:
Highway to Hell - AC/DC

Birth of Child:
My World - Metallica

Final Battle:
Wicked World - Black Sabbath

Death Scene:
A Tear Fell - Teresa Brewer

Funeral Song:
The Ballad of Jane - Monster Ballads

End Credits:
End of the Day - Goldfinger

Hmmm another chapter lost.

2006-11-01T13:17:49Z

Well Tuesday Chris and I ( and in case you didn't know chris is my boyfriend) went and got my stuff from Isle Lamotte. As we pulled up to the house where I had lived for just about 7 months all I was thinking was just don't cry ....DO NOT CRY! Because for most of my life I had learned from my mom's ex-husbands that crying was showing weakness and i didn't want to show anymore weakness then i already have shown my boyfriend. Plus, I knew if i started crying so would Martha and i didn't need a crying jesse's mom on my hands. That would be just too much to bear. As it was when she hugged me when I was leaving she was on the brink of tears even with the lack of me crying.

I was giving a loaf of bread, cookies and some wishes for good luck and off I was. As we drove across the bridge that connected Isle Lamotte to Alburg...I reminiced(sp?)of the times gone by in the house but I also thought of the future and the many memories I will make with Chris and his family. i also reflected on how however sad it might be that I was closing a chapter in my life but that i was also opening a whole new chapter to be explored. Full love,family, friendship, and many many laughs.

So as the chapter of living with my best friend's parents are over a new more wonderful chapter is thriving and that i must not dwell on the past.

New World here i come.

Bored and wondering!

2006-10-18T14:55:46Z

1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
4. Favorite Book:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:

Lets dish the DIRT!!!! ... ... ...

1. Do we know each other outside of Live Journal?
2. Whats your philosophy on life?
3. Would you have my back in a fight?
4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
5. What is your favorite memory of us?
6. Would you give me a kidney?
7. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?
9. Can we get together and make a cake?
10. Have you heard any rumors of me lately?
11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?
12. Do you think I'm a good person?
13. Would you drive across country with me?
14. Do you think I'm attractive?
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. What do you wear to sleep?
17. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
18. Would you go on a date with me if i asked you?
19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
20. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

Quiz thing about my lj friends!

2006-09-20T15:49:37Z

Click here.
Take the quiz.
Post your results.
1) Could you see worldcrusader and willo_the_wisp together? prolly not since jess is not bi
2) Does changingvamp do drugs? yes pot
3) What animal should aedh_anamchara be combined with? hmmm don't rightly know
4) How many monkeys could jess_cobb_42 fight at once and win against? like millions....cause she is hardcore
5) How would twitch619 kill drake_tw? i don't know with a sword?
6) Is aedh_anamchara a high school student? nope
7) What flavor of jello would syn2424 be? cherry..the color of blood
8) Does syn2424 have a big secret? nope
9) What exotic animal would selenastarwind like as a pet? tiger
10) Is willo_the_wisp popular? kinda yes
11) What rank would jess_cobb_42 have in a giant robot army? #! like i told you she's hardcore
12) If syn2424 took over the world, who would be happy? me
13) What is anfloga's favorite band/artist? celtic music
14) Would you make out with syn2424? maybe
15) What would jaidenkiwi give anfloga for his/her birthday? a sword
16) Do needycosmonaut and worldcrusader go to the same school? yes JSC
17) Where would twitch619 most like to visit? i don't know
18) One thing you can't stand about needycosmonaut? too bitchy sometimes
19) Does drake_tw travel a lot? nope
20) If anfloga took over the world, who would suffer? me...he would make me his sex slave or something
21) What is jaidenkiwi's shoe size? like a 8 prolly
22) Where was kingofthething born? I don't know
23) Would you set up syn2424 and montyswm84? nope because neither are gay
24) Are drake_tw and jaidenkiwi going out? nope
25) Is mrwuggles friends with needycosmonaut? nope

Hmmm ..i wonder to much.

2006-08-26T00:08:28Z

Sometimes i wonder if my friends ever really read my LJ.

A.) Because they never comment on anything happening in my life unless it has to do something with them.

B.) They don't really read things because sometimes they will ask about things that are quite ovious if they had really read the post.

BUt yeha maybe worry to much about what people think. But i sometimes i think peopple don't care just cause i don't live close to them. If this is true then you suck.

Oh well.That is just my perception.

DO IT.....DO IT NOW!

2006-08-24T01:28:59Z

If you comment on this post:
1. I’ll respond with something random about you.
2. I’ll challenge you to try something.
3. I’ll pick a color that I associate with you.
4. I’ll tell you something I like about you.
5. I’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I’ll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I’ll ask you something I’ve always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours.

Things are going better now....

2006-08-22T00:31:30Z

My mom apologize and we are good. I am moving in with her. NOw if only my paycheck would come.

YAYYYYY!

~Marie~

BAH lifes sucks....THE END!!!

2006-08-21T23:15:32Z

Well i am not in the mood for people that are stupid. And i feel like i will never be happy again. Everything is going wrong. If you wanna know what's wrong just im or email me when i am on if you don't know them they are. .. liferuinerM MSN:marie1-041@hotmail and email: marie1-041@ hotmail.com or liferuinerm@yahoo.com......Laterz.

liferuinerm @ 2006-07-02T12:13:00

2006-07-02T16:13:22Z

*45 of the most random things you probably never needed to know about someone*
whats your name spelt backwards?:	Eiram
What did you do last night?:	I can't disclose that info or my friends might kill me.
The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?:	Evrything Burns off from the soundtrack of Fantastic Four
Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?:	Whemn i was young and stupid.
Last time you swam in a pool?:	Years ago....
What are you wearing?:	Monkey PJ's a pink long sleeve shirt
How many cars have you owned?:	0
Type of music you dislike most?:	Country
Are you registered to vote?:	Yup i voted last election but unfortunately my candiate didn't win.
Do you have cable?:	nope
What kind of computer do you use?:	Hewlett- Packer
Ever made a prank phone call?:	yes many upon many with mike jones
You like anyone right now?:	yes but it is at a loss cause he is taken
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?:	i would like to try both
Furthest place you ever traveled?:	Florida
What's your favorite comic strip?:	Fairly Twisted Reality (web comic)
Do u know all the words to the national anthem?:	yup
Shower, morning or night?:	morning or night depending
Best movie you've seen in the past month?:	Fantastic Four
Favorite pizza toppings?:	Pinapple and Ham
Chips or popcorn?:	Popcorn with lot o' butter
What cell phone provider do you have?:	i don't have a cell phone
Have you ever smoked peanut shells?:	nooooooooo ...wtf? who does that?
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?:	nope
Orange Juice or apple?:	Apple
Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?:	Cyn and Darius (AKA jesse)
favorite chocolate bar?:	Dark Chocolate anything
Who is your longest friend and how long?:	Megan Chase and about 16
Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?:	about a year ago
Have you ever won a trophy?:	nope
Favorite arcade game?:	Pac-Man or DDR
Ever ordered from an infomercial?:	nope
Sprite or 7-UP?:	Sprite
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?:	yes when i work for the VYCC
Last thing you bought at Walgreens?:	i have never bought anything at walgreen's
Ever thrown up in public?:	yes when Lizabeth and Myke made me laugh really really hard.
Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?:	Find true love. I don't like heartbreak.
Do you believe in love at first sight?:	not as much as i use to
SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON?:	SPONGEBOB
Did you have long hair as a young kid?:	yup
What message is on your voicemail machine?:	i have no clue.
Where would you like to go right now?:	to the lake. it is friggin' hot.
Whats the name of your pet?:	Angel and Bear
What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?:	it is a cheap wal=mart messenger bag and nothing is in it.
What do you think about most?:	SEX!!!!!!!!!!!
Take this survey \| Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d

I don't see myself geting 100 but the closer the better...

2006-06-24T03:05:11Z

Give me 100 comments in this entry. Or whatever, really. YOU, in particular, don't have to supply the whole 100, but a tiny contribution would be nice. This is your chance to spam me with anything (pictures are very welcome!) Then post this in your journal and I'll return the favor.

sneaks up behind you and stabs you

2006-06-22T21:06:24Z

I HATE PEOPLE!!! I wonder if i can get away with killing certain people? Get back to me about this question on whether or not i could. That is all!!!

Hilary is going to maim me for this.

2006-06-12T02:33:47Z

Ok so Hilary is prolly gonna want to harm after all is said in done. Just joking i know hil wouldn't hurt me. But i went to a KT Tungstall show today at 2 pm today. Jesse's mom was trying to win tickets to go see her tonight at HIgher Ground but didn't win. Then the radio station tolded us that she was doing a free show on Church Street in Burlington for FREE at 2PM !!! So we wnet and saw it and it was amazing and suprisingly there weren't a lot of people there about a hundred or so i was like literally maybe 20 ft from KT Tungstall. I danced my ass off and had tons of fun even though i was extremely sick. But it was so worth even if I was sick.

Thought i let you all know.

*Marie*

Right some people can be such douchebags.....

2006-06-10T06:06:03Z

Ok so i was talking to a friend last night on aim and he was complaining about his life and then i told him he hasn't been through as much as me and i even showed him an exerpt from a blog someone that knows more about my life then they do an he proceeded to be a douchbag and talk like he knew anything about my past and then i asked how he would know anything about my life and he said i don't but if you would like to tell me sometime that would be nice. Fuck that shit. I am trying to get over the past so i am not going to divulge through it for his sake. So ican just be fucked up again like I was when i first started dating Jesse. OH HELLZ NO!!!! I say fuck you to him. And if you want to talk about this then go ahead but don't expect me to listen cause i just might get suddenly tired and sign off cause i don't want to listen to you just like you didn't want to listen to what i had to say and i don't care if you get more depressed over what i said here. OH WELL....FRIGGIN' GET OVER THE DEPRESSION...why not have more sex since it is medical proven to make yo happy fuckin' a. My god. My sister who is 16 has been through worse stuff then you have now that is a person that has a reason for being DEPRESSED! Fuck you!

*Marie*

Hmmm interesting

2006-06-05T15:51:03Z

Boyfriend/ Girlfriend Application..yes i am bi so i accept both.

Alright well if you think you can "qualify" to be my boyfriend/girlfriend send this to me with the answers filled out. Or Comment It On My Blog

1. Name:

2. Age:
3. Hair Color

4. Eye color:

5. Height:

6. Weight:

7. Fave Color:

8. Fave Movie:

9. Fave Song:

10. Fave Band:

11. Most Embarassing Moment:

12. Are you a virgin?

HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...

1. Are we friends?

2. Do you have a crush on me?

3. Would you kiss me?

4. ...with tongue?

5. Would you enjoy it?

6. Would you ever ask me out?

7. Would you make a move on me in a movie theater?

8. Would you hold me if I was crying?

9. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?

10. Do you want to tell me something that you couldn't before?

11. If I gave you my phone number, would you call me?

12. If you heard a rumor or crap about me, would you defend me?

13. Do you talk about me?

14. Do you think I'm a good person?

15. Would you let me sleep with you? [*wink wink* or just sleep, either one]

16. Would you take me to a romantic walk on the beach and let me lay with you?

17. Do you think I'm hot?

18. If you could change anything about me -would you?

19. Would you marry me?

20. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

riiight

2006-05-25T17:04:54Z

So most of you know by now that Jesse and I am broken up been broken up fpr about 6 days. We are still friends BUT as soon as I can I am moving to burlington so all my friends come visit moi. Basically the reasoning is cause he didn't love me as a gf he love me as a friend and i loved him as a bf so we thought that was an unhealthy relatonship so we broke up. AND I might some more news in about 2 weeks. We will see and if it turns out I do I will tell y'all.

*Marie*

Some jokes for my buddies.....

2006-03-20T19:08:30Z

Health Care Plan

TEN TOP INDICATORS THAT YOUR EMPLOYER HAS CHANGED TO A CHEAPER HEALTH CARE PLAN:
10. Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
9. Directions to your Doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."
8. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
7. The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
6. The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is: "An apple a day."
5. Your Primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
4. " The patient is responsible for 200% of out of network charges" is NOT a typographical error.
3. The only expense covered 100% is "EMBALMING."
2. Your prozac come in different colors with little M's on them.
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED A VERY CHEAP HEALTH CARE PLAN IS:
1. You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape.

The NUN!!

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring at her.

He replies: "I have question to ask you but, I don't want to offend you."

She answers: "My son, you cannot offend me. when you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

He says: " Well I have always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds: "Well, let's see what we can do about that: ..1, you have to be single and ..2, you must be catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and catholic!"

"OK" the nun says, "Pull into the next alley."

The nun fufills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.But, when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," said the nun, "Why are you crying?"

"Forgive me but I have sinned. I lied and I must confess. I'm married and I'm jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK. My name is kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."

Top 4 Adult Jokes of 2005

..4 A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me. She replies, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."

..3 One night as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tommorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do you havr a dentist appointment tommorrow too?"

..2 Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible complusion. He had the urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but bill said he would be too embarassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong bill?", she asked. " Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" " oh bill you didn't!" she exclaimed. "Yes, I did." he replied. " My god, Bill, What happened?" " I got fired." " No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh......she got fired too."

..1 A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting at this breakfast table together." " I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times." Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." " I wouldn't be suprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."

I have tons more if you wanna read them. If you like these comment on this blog and i will write some more up for you to read.

*Marie*

Crazy wowness!!!!

2006-03-20T19:04:48Z

Wowness!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy fuck wow!!!!!
Current mood: nostalgic

That's all I have to say is wow. Someone i have seen or talked to in 4 years just sent me a friends request on myspace. So i checked out her profile and she had a few pics on there from when I KNEW her and was REALLY REALLY good friends with her. I had a flashback to freshman year of high school of hanging out with Amber (my best bud at the time. I haven't seen her in 4 years either, but my sis is friend's with her sister and i guess she is doing better then she has in the best few years), erin (which is the girl that myspaced me), ben( i haven't seen him in 2 years ...he's off at college . Ben and college 2 words i though i would never see in the same sentence.) nicole ( haven't seen her in like 9 monthssince graduation...she is off at college too.) and patrick (haven't seen him in about a year . Holy crap he graduates this year from high school.) Wow the years have really gone by quickly. I remeber freshman year so vividly like it was yesterday. I was a wild child in those days more so then i am now. I would drink at school during classes and skip classes and school all the time and yet failed never to get one dentention cause i kick ass like that. Wow. I am all grown up. An adult. the years really have flown by. Now i am have to choose my future and my life and make a family and such. Look at me now. I'm a BIG kid now.LOL . I know i'm dork that is the only thing that hasn't changed.

I remember all of my past friends. Miss you guys and hope to see you SOON!!!

*Marie*

so bored.......and bad mood has continued....

2006-03-12T06:41:35Z

Click here.
Take the quiz.
Post your results.
1) What is kingofthething's favorite movie? i have no fucking clue....
2) How long have you known kingofthething? 5 months....damn that long wow!!!
3) What exotic animal would selenastarwind like as a pet? does it have to be real? i'd say a fairy!!!
4) What would you do if selenastarwind died? cry and perhaps sing at her funeral!!!
5) If worldcrusader and jaidenkiwi were siamese twins, where would they be joined? stomach...i guess
6) Has jaidenkiwi dyed their hair? yes plenty of times to many to count!
7) What is worldcrusader's favorite food? junk food....
8) Have you flirted with needycosmonaut? nope...he's a dick a lot of the time....
9) Is needycosmonaut introverted or extroverted? introverted definitely.....
10) Are eddyfoible and jaidenkiwi married? noooooo....neither are lesbians and can't get married anyways....
11) Would you make out with kingofthething? nope that weird.....esp. since i know his gf
12) Which of your friends should needycosmonaut go out with? Megan
13) Is jess_cobb_42 single? i think so.....
14) What is kingofthething allergic to? have no clue...
15) How would jaidenkiwi conquer the world? by killing bush and all of congress....
16) Would needycosmonaut and eddyfoible make a good couple? nope much different personalities....
17) Did kingofthething break up with you? i never went out with him...
18) Does needycosmonaut do drugs? not too many i think....
19) What is willo_the_wisp's favorite color? changes too often
20) Is jess_cobb_42 an emo? a little....but not really
21) Is selenastarwind your best friend? nope ...good friend tho.
22) How many monkeys could changingvamp fight at once and win against? a whole army of them ..she'sa tough bitch...
23) Is needycosmonaut a high school student? nope...college more like it.
24) Is montyswm84 dead sexy? oh yeah so bad....::said with sarcasm in her voice::...
25) If eddyfoible had a superpower, what would it be? i have no clue!!!!

Life is like Monopoly....

2006-03-12T06:27:33Z

For all the dane cook fans.....you know what i am talking about!!

It is the game that everybody has nobody likes. After a few hour into it you are like fuck this game. And nana is a cheating whore. Where did you get the pink fifties nana? HMMMM!!

That's right everybody has life and most people hate it if not all cause it is so DAMN CONFUSING! After you hit puberty you are like wtf why do i want to do this the rest of my life. Maybe that is why so many teenagers are sucidal cause life sucks hardcore. People try to cheat in life all the time. AND who made the Game of Life cause it is nothing like life.

You can tell I am not in the greatest of moods. I am lonely, pissed and confused all in one.

*BAH SO MANY FEELNGS IN WINDHAM, VT*

PS WHY CAN'T THE SNOW MELT FASTER? if you didn't previous blog you won't get this.....so read it!!!!!

A comparison of my feelings to dead grass and my life a firepit.

2006-03-11T22:03:42Z

As I look into the muddy vastness of my backyard, I find it to be a good representation of my feelings. The dead grass is like my feelings. It seems dead to me right now but soon enough the snow(mixed-upness) will melt away and soon enough I will know where I am and how i feel like the spring grass coming out of the ground so will my understanding of my life. The snow is equivalent of my confusion on everything in my life but, soon enough it will be spring (sort through of my feelings and life) and I will be like the spring grass renewed. Hopefully this renewal comes fast i could use it.
I find my life to be like the old firepit in my backyard; crumbled and in ruins from all the hardships I have had in my life. I need something right now which will put the pieces back together and help me get back in touch with myself; the person i use to be.
*Sorting things out in Windham, VT*

More news and good news....

2006-03-09T20:29:27Z

I retracted that last blog because it is no longer true. I am not engaged and you will find out in this excerpt from a conversation with my friend Alan:

liferuinerM (8:25:22 PM): not engaged for now..
APD05478 (8:25:34 PM): why not?
liferuinerM (8:25:59 PM): cause it was too soon...toke things too fast...
liferuinerM (8:26:06 PM): took*
APD05478 (8:26:39 PM): are you guys still together?
liferuinerM (8:26:51 PM): yes..why?
APD05478 (8:26:58 PM): oh just wondering
APD05478 (8:26:59 PM): good
liferuinerM (8:27:30 PM): he is still moving in tho...
APD05478 (8:27:34 PM): good
APD05478 (8:27:48 PM): it is wise to take time on things like engagement
liferuinerM (8:28:34 PM): yeah that' s so very true we were trying to rush things which was stupid on our part but we are still together and habit...
liferuinerM (8:28:54 PM): happy*
APD05478 (8:29:07 PM): yeah it is tempting to take things fast but slow is good
liferuinerM (8:29:38 PM): yes slow is always good...

And in this message from Jesse to me:

Okay... here I go... but when you wake up and see this message and want to yell at me, you'll be harshly disappointed as I'm probably going to be asleep.
April got me to thinking when I was just laying in my bed: Are we moving too fast? I mean, just 5 week ago, we got together over the net. Only 7 days later did we first sleep together, one more night, we slept together again. And, nearly two months later, we're engaged. I under stand the moving in part cause you want to be with me and want to get to know me more. I want to as well. But... I love you. I really do. But I think, I've jumped to conclusions when I said I wanted to be engaged with you. I do want to, but I'm not sure that it's so wise to be so far ahead of ourselves. For all we know, we'll spend just a week together before being at each other's throats.
I want you to get to know me more than just "He's a geek that plays video games and D&D" And I wanna get to know you more than "She's a Lvl 1 Gamer/Lvl 1 Geek". I do want to see you, be with you, AND want to get out of this house for good love. But when I said 3 months, I meant three months to get to know you, then I *might* ask, not 3 months and BOOM, we're engaged. We have a life to live together... I'm just not done living the life I have here... with my family and friends. I may... hate some of them but, in the end, the love I have for some of these people... it's equal to the love I have for you. I want to have something stable to stand on for a while while I get to know you. I don't want to find out that this was all a bad idea and then have no where to go and end up dead on the street in the freezing cold.
I just don't think moving in would be that smart of an idea right now love. I may hate them for the most part, but I want to help my family as much as I can before I leave. I want to get them out of debt and into a better life so that maybe, just maybe, they become better people. So you see... I'm staying home for the same reason you wanted to return home: To help my family and to be where I feel safe. ...I'm sorry if I'm breaking your heart like this, but what I'm saying is I DON'T want to break up. I still want to see you. And I want to get to know you more and more. What I am saying is that I want to learn to love you more than I already do...

~Jesse W. Walton~

But he is moving in. My mom was talking to him and he was thinking about the things that she said and how they were all true so he has decided yet again to move in with me. Thank god!!!! I love you Jesse!!!!

*CONTENT IN WINDHAM,VT*

OMG<<<<<<<YAYYYYY!!!!

2006-03-08T18:23:20Z

ok....So now i can tell you my secret from last blog. I AM ENGAGED!!! Jesse officially proposed to me last night but he wants to do it again in a more special way before I tell my family but we decided that we could tell our frieds SO yes i am ENGAGED!! YAAAAA happiness and all you guys better be at my wedding. Summer 2008 biotche!! Haven't decided an exact date yet. But i already have most of it planned.
So thi is the proposal!!!!
I wish I could tell you face to face just how much I love you. But the matter of fact is, there is no plane big enough, no world that hold what I want to say to you. I love you just feels like it's not saying it. It's not telling you my true feelings. It's something deeper than love I think. It's something that no one can ever truly express. We try to express it through marraige, but somehow, even that doesn't seem like it's enough. Marraige is, however, a way to say I want to be with you for the rest of my life. That the only thing that will tear us appart is our mortal coils. I guess that's what I'm asking you tonight. Here as I sit in my bedroom at 10:12... Marie Aurora Robertson... will you marry me?
Amazing right?
Yeah he is.
I love you Jesse!!!!!!!!
* SO SO SO UBER HAPPY IN WINDHAM, VT*

Biggest News

2006-03-06T19:02:22Z

I have the biggest news ever I can't tell anyone for another 3-6 months. Man i am going to die holding this secret in!!! But it makes me super happy! YAYYY! That's all anyone needs to know right now.

*UBER HAPPY IN WINDHAM, VT*

hmm interesting!!!!

2006-03-05T20:20:14Z

Ok......so friday night i had a nervous breakdown when my sis and her friend Nessa went to go get their other friend Mimi from Bellows Falls. I just felt like I was losing me self cause of keeping up the fact that i am always happy (when i am not) and being stong (not that strong) for my mom, sis, boyfriend, other family, and friends. Just collapsed on me and i couldn't hold it up. Plus tons a stress from getting my boyfriend here, my sis's suicidalness, getting job, starting classes soon and not being ready,my friend's depressions. It felt like i was falling through the cracks of all this. Pieces of me were falling in the cracks slowly and losing everything i believed in. So then they come home and i flip shit on my sis . She knocks on the door to open the door and i am like :

" I have better things then the open door for you like make your dinner fucking bitch. I should just slam the door in your fucking face. Kiss ass my ass bitch. I am not here to pick the fuck up after you."

I totally just pull out every swear and name-calling i could ever and i am my sis took it.
And then i talk to the boyfriend and he cleared things up for me and felt better.
Then today i had a huge argument/ discussion of feelings with my sis and her best friend Nessa and what we decided is that my mom needs to talk to both of us abut what is going on with both of us cause we have a lot of issues that we need to talk about to make both of us better then the state that we are now at.

A good conclusion so that will probably happen when my sis's friends go home tuesday. Then we can have privacy.

*Feelin' kinda good right about noe about things in Windham, VT*